and now, I realize
by LongLiveOlivera4ever
Summary: Everyone writes Carlos's death from third person or from Alice's point of view, but how does Carlos himself see it? The story of Carlos's death from his own point of view. R&R..please!


A/N: I'm really sad that Carlos died; that was the worst part of the movie ever! But every story has two sides and this is Carlos's.

Disclaimer is in my author's page. Read it or not, it doesn't make a difference cuz I still don't own Resident Evil.

I slammed the door of my truck that had been my source of shelter for five years for the last time, not looking back once as I walked away from it. Every step I took away from it was another step closer to my death. Death's dark figure was finally beating on my door, delighted at finding me after I'd eluded him for so long.

I put the lighter in my hand into my pocket for later. The motion caused the dynamite in my bag to shift, future reminding me of what was about to take place.

At this point, there were only three people I wanted to say good-bye to, my final good-byes.

K-Mart, who was sobbing hysterically, blaming herself for my situation, convincing herself it was her fault I had to die. We both knew the truth. The cost of her life was high; it'd cost L.J.'s life and mine to save hers and I didn't regret anything but that I hadn't been in time to save L.J. K-Mart would continue on to Alaska as she was meant to and I hoped she'd be happy in the end.

Claire, who was trying to maintain her composure and look tough, even though we both knew it was hurting her. She'd lost everyone she'd let close to her in only a few days; Mikey, who she loved and had watched die, unable to help, Chase, who'd she'd sent up the Eiffel Tower and had been attacked by the new race of infectants before being impaled by a metal spear, Betty, who'd died saving the convoy from infected birds, Otto, who'd gone the same way, L.J., who'd turned in Vegas before biting me, who shot him. And now, she was losing me, the last one, save K-Mart. I depended on them to support each other when I was gone.

Alice….the one it'd hurt the most to say good-bye to. After my tearful good-bye to. After my tearful good-bye to Claire and K-Mart, I walked over to the tanker in which I was to meet my death. Alice stood by it, waiting. I stopped in front of her, taking in all of her and trying to burn into my brain her image.

"Carlos," She whispered. I stopped her, knowing I wouldn't be able to go on if she said what she was going to.

"Save it." I said, closing my eyes, seeing the imprint of her behind my eyelids, "Just…when you get down there…"

"Consider it done." She gritted her teeth before collapsing into my arms in a final hug, the last I would ever have, the last I'm sure she would feel meant anything.

I released her; it was the hardest thing I ever had to do. We stared into each others' eyes, taking in the moment before our mouths connected in a sweet, sad kiss.

I tasted sadness. I tasted pain. I tasted love. We parted, knowing I had to go through with it, I had to die.

I looked into her eyes again before opening the door to truck. I saw fear, I saw sadness, I saw agony, I saw anger and I saw determination.

Getting into the truck, I put the bag down in the seat beside me. That flare of determination in her eyes spurned me on and I knew.

I was meant to die. I was meant to love Alice, to value her above anything else and for her to feel the same way. I was meant to give her that drive, that determination to destroy Umbrella, the corporation that had not only divided her humanity, but was also the cause of the death of the one she loved most.

I was going to save her, the world, all those who had died before me. I was dying to save L.J., Betty, Mikey, Chase, Otto, Jill, Angie…and all the others who had given their lives because of Umbrella.

We drove, the masses of zombies forming a thick wall between us and the gates. I turned to see Alice through the window and smiled at her. She smiled back, an agonized, beautiful smile.

I kept her face in my mind as I tipped the truck, as I lit the fuse and as I sat back and awaited the explosion to take me.

Alice…..my mind flashed through images of her, her smile, her grace, her determination, just…her.

That was my last thought before the blackness swallowed me.


End file.
